Jack and Jill Baby Shower: How to Plan a Coed Shower Everyone Enjoys

01 Who to invite to a coed baby shower

Invite the people the parents-to-be want there, whatever their gender: friends, relatives, coworkers, neighbors. It’s their list, so start with their names, not yours.

The plan is the same for two moms, two dads, a mom and a dad, or one parent on their own, and for a baby arriving by birth or by adoption. Use the names, and the words, the family uses.

Two co-hosts, one list

If the family has two sides, pick a co-host from each: each knows whom to ask, and whose cousin is vegetarian. Keep one master list with every name, a phone number or email, and each reply. Two co-hosts with two lists end up with three head counts.

Our baby shower checklist sets up that list and the rest of the planning, week by week. If the baby is joining the family by adoption, our adoption baby shower guide covers what to ask first.

02 How to count partners and kids

Count people, not invitations: two for each couple, one for each plus-one and each child, plus you, your co-hosts and the parents-to-be. A coed list grows fast.

Ten couples and four single friends are 24 adults. With two parents-to-be, you and a co-host, that’s 28. If kids are welcome and six families bring two each, it’s 40.

Invite only as many as you could seat if everyone said yes, the rule in our guide to hosting a baby shower at home. The menus below feed 20 people, kids included: for 30, multiply everything by 1½; for 40, double it.

Plan for the kids

• A kids’ table: crayons, coloring pages and their own snacks, near the grown-ups but out of the kitchen.
• Their own plates: the CDC lists hot dogs and sausages, marshmallows, nuts, chips, popcorn, raw carrots, hard candy, and uncut grapes, cherries and grape tomatoes among choking hazards for young children. Cut their food small (sausages lengthwise, then into bite-size pieces, as Hillshire Farm’s label says for children under 5, and hot dogs the same way), and skip the nuts, popcorn and candy.
• High chairs and boosters: ask families with babies to bring their own.
• A sitter: with a lot of little ones, some hosts hire one for a separate room, so the parents can talk.

03 Pick a format and a time of day

Let the hour pick the format: brunch at 10 or 11 AM, a cookout or picnic at noon, an afternoon shower or open house between 2 and 5 PM, pizza or game night from 5 or 6 PM. Each idea below comes with a menu for 20.

• A big list with lots of kids: a backyard cookout, a picnic or an ice cream social.
• Adults only: pizza night, game night or a shrimp boil.
• A small space: an open house, where guests come and go.
• Cold months: chili, a potato bar, pasta night, or coffee and dessert.
• A tight budget: a potluck, an ice cream social or a potato bar.

Whichever you choose, say on the invitation whether it’s a full meal, so nobody skips lunch for a bowl of ice cream. Our baby shower menu ideas add a brunch, a lunch and an afternoon tea for 20.

04 Coed baby shower ideas for the backyard

Six backyard coed baby shower ideas: a Baby-Q, a taco bar, a shrimp boil, a s’mores night, a game-day chili bar and a picnic in the park. Each game links to its rules in our guide to baby shower games for couples.

Food prices are the regular prices at Hy-Vee, a Midwest grocery chain, on October 17, 2026, before tax; decor is Hobby Lobby’s price the same day. They leave out drinks (below), plates and cups, and pantry staples like ketchup, salt and oil.

1. A backyard Baby-Q

Burgers and hot dogs on the grill, for lunch or an early evening outdoors.

• Menu for 20, about $152 in food: 24 quarter-pound burgers from 6 pounds of 80/20 beef and 16 hot dogs, about two a guest, with buns, cheese and fixings, three cans of baked beans, 6 pounds of potato salad, a watermelon, two bags of chips and 24 cupcakes.
• The day before: shape 24 quarter-pound patties, stack them between sheets of wax paper and refrigerate; chill the drinks.
• On the table: two red and white gingham tablecloths, 60 by 84 inches ($4.49 each at Hobby Lobby), and a burlap pennant banner ($2.99).
• Play: a diaper toss or a water balloon toss on the lawn. Pick up every balloon scrap at once: the CPSC warns that children under 8 can choke on broken balloons.

2. A taco bar

A build-your-own bar feeds picky eaters, vegetarians and kids at once. “Taco ’bout a baby” is the usual pun.

• Menu for 20, about $126 in food: 56 tacos, two or three a guest (36 hard shells, 20 soft tortillas), with 6 pounds of beef and six packets of taco seasoning, one a pound, three cans of black beans, cheddar, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, salsa, guacamole and limes, plus chips and 36 cookies.
• The day before: brown and season the beef, cool it in shallow containers and refrigerate; shred the lettuce.
• On the day: reheat the beef on the stove, then keep it warm in a slow cooker; dice the tomatoes.
• On the table: two bright plastic table covers ($0.99 each at Hobby Lobby) and two small faux aloe plants in cement pots ($5.49 each).
• Play: guess how many candies are in the jar.

3. A shrimp boil

Shrimp, sausage, corn and potatoes boiled in one big pot and poured down a paper-covered table: a coastal classic, also called a Lowcountry boil.

• Menu for 20, about $144 in food: 7 pounds of shrimp in the shell, about ⅓ pound a guest, 3½ pounds of smoked sausage, 20 ears of corn, 5 pounds of red potatoes, a bottle of shrimp and crab boil, lemons, butter, cocktail sauce, French bread and a watermelon.
• The day before: move the shrimp to the fridge to thaw, never the counter, as the FDA advises; slice the sausage and scrub the potatoes.
• On the day: season the water as the label says: Zatarain’s uses 1 tablespoon of concentrate and 5 tablespoons of salt for every 2½ quarts, so the 4-ounce bottle seasons about 5 gallons. Potatoes go in first, then the sausage and corn, the shrimp last, until the flesh is pearly and opaque: the FDA’s test.
• Good to know: shellfish like shrimp is one of the FDA’s nine major food allergens. Cook some sausage, corn and potatoes in a separate pot first, for anyone who can’t have it.
• On the table: a 4-by-25-foot roll of kraft paper to pour the boil onto ($5.99 at Hobby Lobby), a galvanized bucket for the shells ($4.49 to $7.99 by size) and plenty of paper towels.
• Play: find the guest who…, a mixer for guests meeting for the first time.

4. A s’mores night

A fire pit, hot dogs and s’mores, for an early evening in the yard.

• Menu for 20, about $93 in food: 24 hot dogs on buns, three cans of baked beans, a bag of trail mix, a watermelon and 36 s’mores from 18 Hershey’s bars, half a bar each, two boxes of graham crackers and 2 pounds of marshmallows.
• The day before: set chairs in a ring around the fire pit, fill a tray with the s’mores makings, and gather roasting sticks or long metal skewers from home.
• On the day: one adult runs the fire, with a bucket of water beside it.
• Kids at the fire: mark a 3-foot safety zone around the fire pit and keep children outside it, as the Texas Department of Insurance advises; check for a local burn ban first, and have an adult roast for toddlers, who skip the marshmallows, a CDC choking hazard.
• Good to know: this trail mix has peanuts, almonds and cashews: set its bag beside the bowl for anyone with an allergy, and keep it away from toddlers.
• On the table: a red and white gingham tablecloth ($4.49).
• Play: the left-right game, read aloud around the fire.

5. A game-day chili bar

For a fall weekend with the game on TV: a big pot of chili and its toppings, so nobody misses kickoff. Captions on, sound low.

• Menu for 20, about $94 in food: about 20 servings of chili from 5 pounds of ground beef, three cans each of kidney beans and diced tomatoes and three packets of chili seasoning, with cheddar, sour cream, green onions and tortilla chips, carrots and celery with ranch, and 36 cookies.
• The day before: brown the beef and simmer it with the beans, tomatoes and seasoning. Williams’ directions use a can of beans, a can of diced tomatoes and ¼ cup of seasoning for every 2 pounds of meat. Cool it in shallow containers and refrigerate.
• On the day: bring the chili back to a boil on the stove, then keep it warm in a slow cooker.
• On the table: a “Happy Game Day” banner ($6.49 at Hobby Lobby) and a table cover in each team’s color ($0.99 each).
• Play: birth date squares, drawn like football squares.

6. A picnic in the park

A lunch shower on blankets, with room for kids to run. Reserve a shelter if your city takes reservations, and pick a rain date.

• Menu for 20, about $104 in food: 36 chicken salad mini croissants from three rotisserie chickens, two for most guests, with a pasta salad of 2 pounds of rotini, cucumber and grape tomatoes, a watermelon, two bags of chips and 36 cookies.
• The day before: pull the chicken off the bone, mix the chicken salad and the pasta salad, and refrigerate both. Quarter the grape tomatoes lengthwise, for the kids.
• On the day: pack the cold food in coolers with ice, and fill the croissants at the park.
• On the table: a red and white gingham picnic basket ($12.99 at Hobby Lobby), a gingham tablecloth for the picnic table ($4.49) and blankets from home.
• Play: a water balloon toss, or don’t drop the baby. Pick up every balloon scrap at once: the CPSC warns that children under 8 can choke on broken balloons.

05 Brunch, open house and theme ideas

For a daytime shower, pick a donuts and diapers brunch, a coffee and dessert open house, an ice cream social or a family recipe potluck, each with its menu for 20. A safari or fall theme works for any crowd: our safari and fall guides have their menus for 20.

7. A donuts and diapers brunch

A late-morning shower with donuts, coffee and a diaper raffle, where each pack of diapers a guest brings earns a raffle ticket.

• Menu for 20, about $123 in food: 36 glazed donuts, the two breakfast casseroles of our baby shower brunch menu, cut fruit, coffee and decaf, and orange juice.
• The day before: assemble both casseroles, cover and refrigerate; cut the fruit; order the donuts.
• On the table: a donut sprinkles table cover ($2.99 at Hobby Lobby), a “Hello Baby” kraft banner ($2.99) and a grocery-store bouquet (from $11.99 at Hy-Vee).
• Play: the diaper raffle, drawn just before goodbyes, or future favorites cards.

Our diaper raffle guide has the ticket rules and the lines for the invitation.

8. A coffee and dessert open house

“A baby is brewing,” with coffee: guests drop in between 2 and 5 PM, which suits a long list, a small home and families on nap schedules.

• Menu for 20, about $110 in food: coffee and decaf with half-and-half and milk, 16 packets of hot cocoa for the kids, 36 mini cupcakes, 36 cookies, a pound each of cheddar and Swiss with a box of Ritz, and cut fruit.
• The day before: cube the cheese, cut the fruit, and set out the coffee maker, mugs and labels.
• On the day: brew a pot of each, and put the sweets out in small batches, since people come in waves.
• On the table: kraft paper as the tablecloth, for guests to write wishes on ($5.99 for a 25-foot roll at Hobby Lobby), and mini chalkboards ($3.79 for 12) for “Regular” and “Decaf.”
• Play: stations guests visit on their own: a story prompt table or a note station.

9. An ice cream social

A summer afternoon between meals: an ice cream bar and root beer floats, for a crowd with plenty of kids.

• Menu for 20, about $57 with bowls and spoons: a gallon each of vanilla and chocolate, four 2-liter bottles of root beer for floats, chocolate syrup, sprinkles, whipped topping, cherries and a pound of sliced strawberries.
• The day before: clear room in the freezer and chill the root beer.
• On the day: keep the ice cream frozen until you scoop, one tub at a time, and slice the strawberries that morning.
• On the table: a pastel check table cover ($2.99 at Hobby Lobby).
• Play: a pacifier hunt for the kids, with full-size pacifiers (the CPSC counts small parts like mini party pacifiers as a choking hazard under 3), or guess how many.

10. A family recipe potluck

Each household brings a dish it grew up with, plus the recipe on a card. By the end, the parents-to-be have a recipe box from everyone who came.

• Menu for 20, about $30 for the host: eight dishes that each serve 8 to 10 (two mains, three sides, a salad and two desserts), two rotisserie chickens as a backup main, and recipe cards with a box.
• Two weeks before: ask for dishes by type, so you don’t end up with eight desserts, and ask each cook to write the recipe on a card.
• On the day: set each dish beside a card naming its allergens, from its cook.
• On the table: plastic table covers ($0.99 each) and a serving spoon in every dish.
• Play: the baby photo match, with photos from relatives and friends.

06 Evening ideas, from pizza to game night

An evening shower, from 5 or 6 PM, needs dinner: a pizza night, a little meatball pasta night, a baked potato bar or a game night with sliders. Say on the invitation that dinner is served, so nobody eats first.

11. A pizza night

The easiest dinner there is: take-and-bake pizzas, a big salad and a box of treats.

• Menu for 20, about $127 in food: eight 14-inch take-and-bake pizzas (three cheese, three pepperoni, two supreme) cut in 8, about three slices a guest, a Caesar salad from six kits and 40 Rice Krispies Treats.
• The day before: clear room in the fridge: the label says to keep the pizzas refrigerated until they bake.
• On the day: bake at 425°F for 14 to 16 minutes, as the label says, in rounds, and hold the first pies in a 200°F oven.
• On the table: a red and white gingham tablecloth ($4.49 at Hobby Lobby) and mini chalkboards naming each pie ($3.79 for 12).
• Play: couples trivia, with questions the parents approved.

12. A little meatball pasta night

“Little meatball” is the nickname; spaghetti and meatballs is the menu.

• Menu for 20, about $113 in food: 4 pounds of spaghetti, 84 frozen cooked meatballs, about four a guest, five jars of marinara, parmesan, a Caesar salad from six kits, garlic bread from four French loaves, and 24 cupcakes.
• The day before: mix the butter with garlic powder for the bread.
• On the day: heat the meatballs in the sauce on the stove, then hold them in a slow cooker; boil the pasta just before dinner.
• On the table: an ivory table cover (99 cents at Hobby Lobby) and the pasta served from the pot.
• Play: name the TV parents.

13. A baked potato bar

Cheap and filling for a cold evening, and every guest builds their own.

• Menu for 20, about $79 in food: 10 pounds of russet potatoes, about half a pound a guest, with butter, sour cream, cheddar, bacon, green onions and broccoli, a salad from five kits and 36 cookies.
• The day before: scrub the potatoes and slice the green onions.
• On the day: bake the potatoes that afternoon until a knife slides in, then hold them in a low oven.
• On the table: mini chalkboards naming each topping ($3.79 for 12).
• Play: baby Pictionary.

14. A game night with sliders

Board games, team quizzes and snacks all evening: the format for a crowd that loves to compete.

• Menu for 20, about $96 in food: 48 ham and Swiss sliders on Hawaiian rolls, 56 meatballs in barbecue sauce, carrots and celery with ranch, chips and 40 Rice Krispies Treats.
• The day before: assemble the sliders in their pans, brush them with melted butter, cover and refrigerate.
• On the day: bake the sliders until steaming hot, and warm the meatballs in the sauce on the stove.
• On the table: the board games you own, score pads, and mini chalkboards for the team names ($3.79 for 12).
• Play: songs with “baby” in the title, or a baby word scramble, in teams.

07 Mocktails and drinks for a coed shower

Plan one or two drinks per guest per hour, the rule in Cooking For Crowds For Dummies: 40 to 80 for 20 guests over two hours. Each mocktail below serves about 20, one glass each.

• No-ritas, about 19 glasses, $16.20: stir two 12-ounce cans of frozen limeade, 2 cups of orange juice and 6 cups of cold water, then add a 2-liter bottle of lemon-lime soda and four limes in wedges just before serving.
• Nojitos, about 20 glasses, $12.13: crush two small packs of fresh mint into a 15-ounce bottle of lime juice and 1 cup of sugar dissolved in 1 cup of hot water, then top with two 2-liter bottles of club soda and ice.
• Sparkling cranberry punch, about 21 glasses, $7.47: pour a chilled 2-liter bottle of ginger ale into a chilled 101-ounce bottle of cranberry juice cocktail just before serving.
• Hot spiced cider, about 24 mugs, $14.93: warm three 64-ounce bottles of pasteurized apple cider with a jar of cinnamon sticks in a slow cooker. Farm-stand cider not labeled pasteurized? The FDA says to bring it to a boil first.

Sherbet punch, Shirley Temples, Arnold Palmers and a sparkling cider toast for 20 are in our menu guide’s baby shower drinks, with infused water and iced coffee.

08 What a coed baby shower costs for 20

At grocery prices, a menu for 20 runs from about $30 for a potluck host to $152 for a Baby-Q. With drinks, ice, tableware and decor, a Baby-Q comes to about $230, or $11.51 a guest.

The tableware is priced at Hy-Vee on October 15; everything else, on October 17. With store-bought trays and sliders, our baby shower budget comes to about $435 for 20.

09 What a Jack and Jill invitation should say

A Jack and Jill baby shower invitation needs the usual details plus one more: who’s included. Send it four to six weeks before the shower, with an RSVP date one to two weeks before.

On an InviteByLink baby shower website, two parents go together in the one “Parent name(s)” field, “Maya & Jordan,” and who’s invited, kids included, goes in your message: there’s no field for it. Guests reply on the page with their name, yes or no, one number of people from 1 to 12, and a note. Your dashboard adds up the people coming, and when someone replies again under the same name, only their newest reply counts. Partners who reply under their own names still count twice, so ask for one reply per household.

InviteByLink doesn’t send it: you paste the link into your texts, emails or group chat. Build and preview free, publish for $29, once. You can’t edit a published website yourself, but we’ll fix a mistake for free if you email us.

10 Coed invitation wording you can copy

Good coed wording says who’s invited, in plain words. Pick the line that matches the real list, then swap in your names, date and link.

If the list follows a different rule, like couples only or family only, say that rather than calling it coed. Need more lines? Our baby shower invitation wording guide has coed and couples lines, from classic to playful.

11 Activities nobody has to perform

Plan one or two optional activities that get people talking, and let everyone else simply eat and chat. Nobody should have to perform to enjoy a shower.

• A baby photo match: guests who want to join send a baby photo ahead, and everyone guesses who’s who. The baby photo matching game has the steps.
• Prediction cards: future favorites, the baby’s first song, food or book, with no winner.
• Trivia the parents approve: couples trivia, played in small teams so nobody answers alone.
• A story table: a story prompt table for guests who’d rather not compete.
• Outside: a diaper toss or a water balloon toss. Pick up every balloon scrap at once: the CPSC warns that children under 8 can choke on broken balloons.
• Quiet stations: a note station with card prompts, or wishes written on the kraft paper tablecloth.
• If the parents-to-be like the spotlight: the shoe game or “which parent said it?”, with the parents-to-be answering.

Our guide to baby shower games for couples has the players, materials and rules for each game above. One or two is plenty: a shower isn’t a tournament.

12 Coed shower gifts any parent can use

Start with the registry. Off it, choose something any parent will use, whatever the baby. These are Amazon’s prices on October 17, 2026, which change often.

• A diaper bag backpack: $24.99 to $78.99, from Mancro to Skip Hop’s Forma.
• A baby carrier: $29.15 for Infantino’s Flip 4-in-1, $79.99 for BabyBjörn’s Mini.
• A sound machine: $24.99 for Momcozy’s to $79.99 for Hatch’s, with Yogasleep’s Dohm at $49.99.
• A video baby monitor without Wi-Fi: $49.40 for VTech’s VM819, $59.99 for HelloBaby’s HB6550.
• A bottle drying rack: $13.79 for Munchkin’s, $21.99 for Boon’s Lawn.
• A grooming kit: nail clippers, a brush and a comb, $9.98 to $26.99.
• A board book library: 12-book sets for $9.36 (Baby Einstein) and $11.72 (Eric Carle). Write your note inside the cover instead of a card.
• Muslin blankets: a 3-pack for $18.99, or aden + anais’s 4-pack for $39.95.
• Meal delivery: a DoorDash eGift card, from $15.
• A group gift: the stroller or car seat from the registry, split between several households.
• Help, in writing: a card for a dinner drop-off or an evening of babysitting.

Celebrating an adoption? Our adoption shower guide covers gifts for a child who may not be a newborn. For favors, the small thank-yous guests take home, our safari and fall guides have ten each, with the prep, cost and count of every one.

13 A two-hour schedule, block by block

Two hours gives a coed shower room to breathe: 40 minutes to arrive and eat, one 20-minute activity, 40 minutes of dessert and 20 for goodbyes.

Ask the parents-to-be before you plan a gift opening. At about a minute and a half a gift, our agenda’s count, 20 gifts take half an hour: open a few during dessert, and the rest at home.

Our baby shower checklist has the day before and the day of. Need a 90-minute or three-hour version? Our baby shower agenda has both, with a helper on every block.

14 Questions